Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
