I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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