Having a random hookup so left but love u
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
