so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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