Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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