this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
