Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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