so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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