Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
