The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
