remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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