Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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