i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
