So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
