i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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