the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize