Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
