We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
