So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
