i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
