dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
