Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
