youre lurking in front of me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
