if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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