I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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