which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
