Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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