Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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