Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
