I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
