im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Vodka?
Forever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
