'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
