This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
