im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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