we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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