Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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