I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
BRING THE BAGELS
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize