I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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