whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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