We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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