UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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