Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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