you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
