i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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