Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you would pick up someone in the library
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
