She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
