I think i peed on brittanys purse
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
