i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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