i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I wear drunk well.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
