So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
