Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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