How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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