marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
