Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
