I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize