Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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