i don't like sucking hair
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
