I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
