Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
