i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
