watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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