got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize