Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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