i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
