I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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