I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
