I've blown a few things in my day
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
