Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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